Peace

It’s 20 minutes into christmas day. I was too sick to go see my mom and my family for christmas eve today. I guess I worked myself to exhaustion the last few weeks.

There always seems to be so much to get done before the holidays. I do my best to cross everything off my list, and I actually made it this time, except for delivering the presents themselves. Oh well. I did my best.

It’s quiet now finally. No more rushing. No more deadlines. Just a peaceful night.

It’s been a… well… it’s been a year. A year full of… well it’s been a full year. Full of life… in every flavor.

I find myself happy these days having been through so much life this year. You never know what life will bring each year. I’m always amazed at what I learn each new 365 days. I certainly learned a lot this year.

I wonder what next year will bring.

This photograph is one I took almost 24 years ago. Someone had me make a print of it to give as a christmas gift this year. It was one of my first photo assignments when I was working for my college newspaper. If you grew up in Chicago and you’re over 35, you knew Bozo’s Circus. This is an image of Bob Bell, who played Bozo in Chicago for more than 20 years on WGN-TV. I took this photograph of him, moments before the last taping of his show before he retired.

And now looking back on all the thousands of photographs I have taken, this one still moves me. I had no idea when I shot this roll of film, how many more would follow it.

And today, I have no idea how many more images I will make in the future.

I have stopped shooting my most personal work in the last few months. I’ve spent years trying to find beauty through my work, and my heart is full. My head is tired. I need a break.

But I feel I can breath again. Sometimes when you give up something you love, you open yourself up to new possibilities. I’m not sure what those will be. I’m hoping to find some of them in the new year. I guess we’ll see.

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