Once again, there is something about traveling… the constant state of unfamiliarity… senses straining to soak in everything that is new… nothing taken for granted… nothing that is been there, done that.
I does me good to be in this state.
I do feel like I’ve been asleep for a long time and I’m waking up again.
Of course the surreal effect of walking down Sunset Boulevard without even so much as a jacket while chainsaws trimmed the stumps off christmas trees for sale in a huge lot was a bit out of context. That distinctive smell of freshly cut pine, while my eyes were sending my brain images of palm trees and people in shorts was… well… odd.
A guy dressed in what must have been a very warm Santa suit holding a big sign outside a store that read Get Nintendo Wii Here! (Only $700.)
Dozens of mid-life crisises roaring past in their convertible top Z4s.
A probably seldom noticed Frank Lloyd Wright home and studio, still quietly sitting across the street from the Beverly Hills city limits, blending into it’s modest corner lot in such a artistically beautiful way.
Los Angeles is one of those cities that I always thought could eat you alive if you arrived here looking to find yourself externally rather than internally. It’s a city that never says no, yet you can grow old waiting for yes.
Yet in the midst of all of this, I’ve met people I know will be friends in the future. I’ve spent a lot of time talking and listening about where we all are heading. It’s a bit of a puzzle sometimes. Critical pieces can be seemingly elusive if we force it or look too hard where we won’t find it.
Weeks before I arrived here, I began learning meditation. It’s been difficult to turn off the static of conscious thought and drift into another place. But I’m getting better at it. My heightened travel state of awareness has actually helped take me to a place where I can be at peace with some of my fears and pains.
I’m leaning to separate who I am from attachments that I had grown to rely on. Attachments that in all honesty were starting to make me forget what I loved about being me. It’s hard to go back and collect what I had no right to give away in the first place. Not material things, but pieces of me that aren’t really mine to give away if I’m to be a whole person.
So yeah, I’m finding this trip and seeing my great friend Ryan has been a nice tune-up for me. She’s been one of several good friends of mine who continues to see things in and about me that I manage to bury in myself. She’s taught me a lot of about seeing myself as others see me – in a very good way.
She’s always seen the beauty in me and the art I create long before I manage to notice it myself.
So I’m looking forward to the next few days here. Finding an ironic sense of inner peace in a city that is so much about the external. Wading through the happiness that is all around us, but invisible, like radio waves. I’m learning to tune into that again.